WQ again!

i am so excited about going back to wilderness quest!! it is hard for me to think about school and focus on the here and now with thoughts about returning to work there as a field staff are bouncing wildly around my head! i know i cannot get ahead of myself--- look what happened last time i did that--- but it's sooooo hard not to!

i think the desert and wilderness quest are like france was for kate. now it is easier for me to understand why she was so annoying and never stopped talking about it all the time. if it were up to me, i'd be talking about WQ at least 50% of the time. but no one would get it! which is why i am SO excited that i might be able to return to WQ, because obviously the people there would know what i'm talking about! oh my gosh, i miss it so much...

i wrote a few letters to my old boss to verify whether or not he would give me a second chance if i expressed an interest in returning as a staff. imagine how happy i was to hear him say YES! he is not entirely closed to the idea, what he'd really need from me is some way of knowing that i am strong enough in my own recovery to be in that environment. (last time, one of the students triggered me INSANELY. but i was already doing kind of sucky in recovery by then anyways.) that makes sense to me, and i responded that i really have no intention of returning before i get myself one solid year in recovery, which will be in June of this year. I have seven months now, and even with that i know i wouldn't be ready if i tried to go back now. i think when i am ready, i'll pray about it, and i'll know. certainly melissa (my therapist) will know.

now all i can think about is wilderness quest and all the wonderful crazy happy funny fantastic times i had out there, both as a student and later as a staff, and anticipating going out there again!! it's really quite distracting, you know. i need to think about other things.