augh!

i am sooooo excited about wilderness quest...!!! i KNOW i should spend less time daydreaming about the future and more time studying and doing homework, but i can't HELP it!

i plan on downloading an application and mailing it in at the beginning/middle of June, when i get my one-year-in-recovery. (!!!) i'll call troy a week or two later, asking what he thinks and when i could possibly come in for training. they generally have training the first or second week of every month, so who knows? maybe i'll be in monticello on my birthday! i'll start working for wq after taking a week off- driving back to provo, settling any business stuff i have here, etc, then either getting a ride or taking the bus down to monticello on tuesday to make it there in time for the next day. they have a staff house that i can stay at whenever i need to, so lodging won't be a problem.

after i get a few weeks of money saved up, and before my contract runs out at the end of august, i plan on buying a car. (hopefully a small truck with good gas mileage, if there is such a thing) i'll spend my weeks off back in provo, seeing my therapist and dietician, going to meetings, hanging out with my siblings, maybe working a side job or doing art projects, going to church/institute/FHE, and trying to get rid of as much "stuff" as possible. (like the dresser i just bought, and all the clothes and shoes i don't need, etc) maybe dot will be out here by then and i can help her out by lending her some things- like, she could borrow my scentsy warmer or exercise ball, which wouldn't make sense to have in a car. 

when my contract is up at the end of august, i will officially begin life as a nomad; when i work i'll be traveling everyday, and when i'm off i'll be living out of my car...!!! i can shower at the staff house before i leave and when i get back into town, and maybe kate or dot would let me use their shower. if worse comes to worse, i'll shower at the rec center (it's like a YMCA), or at aunt mary's house if she lets me, or (and this would be really sneaky) in the showers in hinckley hall. they leave the doors wide open, anyone can use them! haha, that would be HILARIOUS if it came to that! "pardon me while i borrow your showers, ladies!" hahaha

the reason i want to have a truck instead of some other type of car is so that i can put a mattress in the back and sleep under the stars. of course, if i were parked in a non-deserted area, i'd probably want to sleep inside the car. it'd be perfect to live out of my car because i could go wherever i wanted on my weeks off and not have to pay for bus fare or train fare, or worry about walking. if i didn't have a truck, i'd at least need a bike rack; my bike, charlotte, is my darling. she got me EVERYWHERE when i was in CA. even when i get a car, i'll still need her to get around, and just to have fun. bikes can go places that cars can't.

i wouldn't have to pay rent to anyone and i'd be entirely self-sufficient! i could go on trips and explore different places- if someone randomly invited me to visit them in CO, i could just GO! i could visit friends without having to worry about inconveniencing them by staying at their house. i could go to whatever ward i wanted to. (my ward here is kind of ehn) i could even make a trip to long beach to visit everyone down there! if i wanted to visit my parents on my week off (which i could do because i'd have money to buy myself a ticket!) i could park at the airport and fly home, then come back and have it there, ready to drive back to monticello. i'd get tons of driving hours in (i need more practice; i NEVER get a chance to drive now) and i could listen to music and books on tape! i'd have everything in my car set up like a little home, with a place to store books and somewhere else to store clean clothes and a bag for dirty clothes, and my little store of food... i'd have to get a car that doesn't break down all the time, because i'd be really dependent on it, but if it did break down i'd have money to fix it and friends all over the place to give me a hand.

i'd have my laptop and could go to any internet cafe if i needed to go online. (i also have a router, which they desperately need at wq- or at least they needed it when i was there last time.) i might even think about getting a dog! okay, now you KNOW i'm dreaming...!!! (but i really do want a dog! i'd get an older one that's already trained from craigslist or a shelter somewhere, that the family can't keep because they're moving. he could stay with me all the time, even when i go out to the wilderness to work, and the kids would love him! aww...)

i am so excited. i'm telling you, i have everything all planned out. i'd get a utah driver's license and become a resident so that whenever i decide to go back to school, i'll have super-cheap tuition. i can go to school every january and go back to work at wq every june-december. not until i graduate, just until i decide it's time to really get on top of my schooling. that could be in a year or two. i could even do online classes while i work at wq, doing the work on my off weeks and getting credits that way. this could totally work, i am telling you!