costco

today i went to costco with greg to buy groceries. it is cool having a friend (and a sister) with a costco card, so that i can buy things for a discounted price. the only problem with that store is that i don't NEED two economy sized jars of peanut butter for $7.35, and would be much better off getting one smaller sized one for $2.50. when i buy stuff at costco, it is expensive because there's a whole ton of it, which means i can only buy a few things, which means i am stuck eating the same meal for the next two weeks. is it worth it because i get the food for cheaper? hm, you tell me. 

i need to go to albertsons to get peanut butter and honey in regular quantities. i have a gift card so it'll be free! gift cards to grocery stores are such excellent presents for students, i think. at least for this student.  

oh, just to dispel any rumors out there, greg and i are never going to hook up. greg will never be a vasicek because i have already promised myself to marry someone who has absolutely no issues with food or depression, and greg has issues with both. besides, i don't like him in that way. he's an awesome friend, though, and i have lots of fun when we hang out. but it's not going anywhere.

sometimes i worry that i send mixed messages to boys. this is not a good thing. i have problems with making a guy think i like him when i don't, and then before i know it we're getting involved, and then i have to tell him i don't like him and he gets mad at me for leading him on, and there's not much i can say because i DID lead him on, even if i didn't mean to. i really hate it when i do that, but i don't mean to, so it's very hard for me to stop. oftentimes i don't even catch myself doing it until i find myself stuck in a relationship with a guy i don't even have feelings for. maybe it's because i am so out of touch with my emotions. no, more likely it's because i love attention and will do anything to get it from someone, even if it means leading them on. that is a really repulsive quality to have. ugh, i seriously need to work on that.

but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my personality is to be funny and joke around and be flirtatious with people. like, even girls, or married guys or older people. that sounds weird, that i would flirt with them, but i don't do it because i'm interested in them; playful banter is just what i DO, how i like to communicate. is it my fault if someone reads too much into that? yes? if so, then that sucks.

anyway, guess what? next tuesday, i'll probably be eating dinner with the hot painter dude! i told him i'd buy him dinner in exchange for driving me to the airport- i still think that was super-sweet of him to volunteer to take me. i think i'd rather buy him dinner than make it for him, since i am not a good cook and if he wanted a microwaved frozen dinner, he could have one at his own house right? my culinary prowess would not be much of a thank you, i'm sad to say. i told him this and he said "haha, well, um, at least you're honest." i wish i had more patience with stoves and cutting boards.  

where will we go for dinner? not costco, since that would mean i'd have to bring kate (and danny) with me, or else greg. THAT wouldn't be awkward. and though their drinks are only 55 cents, i'd rather go somewhere slightly more upscale. like taco bell. (that was a JOKE) knowing me, we'll probably end up at brick oven again. i love that place! should i ask kate and danny to come with me? would that be weird and awkward, since they are practically engaged? so many possibilities! 

it has definitely been way too long since i went on a real date. (i do NOT count that disaster with marlon where we yelled at each other the whole time. okay okay, I yelled, he laughed at me condescendingly. which is worse?)  

my love sac is coming in the mail! i am so excited! soon, i shall be able to sprawl across it, laptop on my knees, and surf the net in comfort and style. if i clean my room, that is. right now there's not enough floor space cleared for it.  

dude, i wish i had a picture of this painter guy to post so everyone could see how hot he is. he's got this really cute, wide smile, and big, dreamy eyes with long eyelashes, and he has this really cute way of flipping his hair out of his face. my dad would think he's hot. he has very good taste in men. haha, that sounds funny, but it's true! he looks kind of like trent ford: