i know i'm going to regret this later when i'm exhausted and can't keep my eyes open at dinner tonight. but how is a girl supposed to sleep when she's going half insane over some boy??
guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat???!! we're going out now! mykle is my boyfriend!!! i haven't had a boyfriend since viktor, and that was when i was barely seventeen. it was totally worth the wait, too.
he FINALLY kissed me, and i felt like dying! i think i'm going to die now just thinking about it. i told him i was going to die, and he asked me not to, please, because that would be tragic. it's true. but still.
oh my gosh, all this recovery shit and incredibly hard work i've done over the past three or four years has been TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! mykle would not like me if i were sick, and i wouldn't be in a position to pay attention to anyone but myself. recovery ROCKS!!! i highly recommend it to anyone with an eating disorder.
I was seriously going out of my mind at his house yesterday. he still hadn't kissed me; he knew i wanted him to, but he kept waiting for some reason. then when we were at my house and i was getting stuff for hot chocolate, i stepped forward and kind of buried my head in his neck. i could stay there forever, doing nothing else for the rest of my life but breathing in his smell. he can sense this and thinks it is funny. we sat down on the couch and were cuddling for ages, and i don't know if i've ever been happier. not in this way at least. i was making rows of kisses on his cheek and neck when he finally moved his head and kissed me on the lips. i am only the second girl he's ever kissed, which surprised me because he's had so many girlfriends before. i'm the opposite; kissed a lot, dated only one or two guys. not nearly as honorable, in my opinion, but oh well.
mykle is a fabulous kisser. at one point he asked me a question, and i couldn't think at ALL! it was funny! it took me a minute to summon enough brain activity to process what he asked. i like that he is always thinking and there are never awkward pauses with him because he loves to talk. hahahahahaha, that sounds pretty hilarious, but it's true! he's totally ADD; we'll be kissing and he'll start laughing because he thought of some funny, random thing. it's entertaining and keeps things from ever getting boring.
i could barely stand to let him go. i really think i could just sit and kiss mykle forever, with occasional bathroom breaks. and maybe food and showers. other than that, i'd like nothing better than to bury my face in his neck and kiss him all over. i literally melt when i'm with him. i thought i must be the only one who felt that way until i kissed him and he just dissolved. so i guess i drive him just as crazy as he does me. although he's probably able to sleep right now while i'm stuck awake and giddy like this. well, i had insomnia issues before this too, so that might have something to do with it.
there was one point yesterday when we were at school and he was working. He was watching me from a few yards away behind the counter, when i had this impulse to look up at him. i saw him watching me and i broke out into this goofy smile, and he winked at me. it was so cute. oh geez, i am head over heels for this guy...
i'm so happy he's a nice mormon boy. not only because he has the priesthood and we have a lot more in common because of the church, but also because it makes it so much easier for me not to cross the line. i have a really bad history of letting guys push me over that stupid line, and now it's great because i know mykle would never do that. he's such a good person. i love when he lets me sit there and cover his face with kisses. i love making him melt the way he does to me so easily. i loved when he pulled my hair out of it's ponytail to play with it, that was so cute. i love when i feel his warm breath in my ear, or listening to the way his voice echoes when i rest my head on his chest as he talks. i love how he'll just say exactly what he's thinking without worrying if it's embarrassing or not, like when he told me on our first date why he asked me out, or when he said he's always had a thing for girls with short hair. i love his boy-scent, and how when i get close enough to smell him i just want to die. i'm glad he wasn't afraid to cuddle with me in front of his family. i like his family. his dad is hilarious!
i love when he catches me completely off-guard. the other night, i was in the middle of explaining something when he just interrupted me and said "your hair is pretty," and i almost dropped the pot i was holding. i forgot everything i was saying and just stared at him. he thought that was funny. or like when we were at his house and i was talking and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. i couldn't remember anything i'd been saying and just kind of sighed and leaned my head against his chest.
oh my gosh, i sound so mushy talking about all this! i must be crazy about this guy if he's able to make me get all cheesy like this! he has this way of saying things sometimes that makes me want to fall over myself kissing him. crap, i'm doing it again! what is WRONG with me?? when did i decide to up and give my heart away? i cannot even believe i just wrote that last sentence, it is so corny. wow, i need to just stop typing before i completely humiliate myself...
No comments:
Post a Comment